What It Feels Like

I don’t want to say love is a waiting game…

It’s hard for me to have a blog and try to stay autonomous with my feelings. Those of you who read in the past know i was nothing of the sort. I wrote every emotion, every feeling, i wrote all of it, even if it would come back to bite me in the ass. Now i guess I’m “older” or “more mature”…pssh, bitch please.. I have bills to pay and need a job to do so, otherwise my mouth would be happily running again, and anyone who tells you differently is LYING.

I don’t know how to start this, or if i should start this. But, we all know i’ve never been shy to speak my feelings. HA! He dumped me. Yep.. and this is what it feels like.  I want to say I’m disappointed but the only person to be disappointed in is myself, how much doesn’t that suck? I want to be angry, and for the life of me, I AM. You can’t love someone and just walk away…. it just doesn’t work that way.

I can be all of the negative words you ever heard. I can be a bad person. & i for sure can manipulate you for my own desire. But i never did anything of the sort with this man. I was myself, and i loved him thoroughly. Yes, i wasn’t perfect, hell i wasn’t even 5% perfect. I tried to make him love me… it never seemed to work. Don’t look elsewhere for attention because
you will lose a diamond chasing the glitter. I know, because i did.

Baby I’m thinking it over
What if the way we started made it something cursed from the start
What if it only gets colder
Would you still wrap me up and tell me that you think this was smart
Cuz lately I’ve been scared of even thinking ’bout where we are

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